“There are some who are really the salt of the earth in every country and who work for work’s sake, who do not care for name, or fame, or even to go to heaven. They work just because good will come of it. There are others who do good to the poor and help mankind from still higher motives, because they believe in doing good and love good. The motive for name and fame seldom brings immediate results, as a rule; they come to us when we are old and have almost done with life.

If a man works without any selfish motive in view, does he not gain anything? Yes, he gains the highest. Unselfishness is more paying, only people have not patience to practise it. It is more paying from the point of view of health also. Love, truth, and unselfishness are not merely moral figures of speech, but they form our highest ideal, because in them lies such a manifestation of power.”

This is Swami Vivekananda’s most powerful insight — work done selflessly is more rewarding than work done selfishly. But is it a valid insight? As with any text, these are merely words on a page, words that could have been perverted, intentionally or not, through the hands of scribes over the years. For that reason, we have to carefully examine the claims through our own experience. Is unselfishness something that we can confidently apply to our lives, or is it something that we should live more carefully, testing its truth?

In order to answer that question, we have to answer an even simpler question — what is unselfishness? At first glance, the synonym altruism comes to mind, but that doesn’t help much. Turning to the zoological definition of altruism, we find: “Instinctive behavior that is detrimental to the individual but favors the survival or spread of that individual’s genes, as by benefiting its relatives.” This is a bad definition for spiritual seekers, since unselfishness is not always constrained to one’s kin. The philosophical definition of altruism is more promising: “[An] ethical theory that regards the good of others as the end of moral action; by extension, the disposition to take the good of others as an end in itself.” This is a good working definition of unselfishness — regarding the good of others as the end of moral action.

Now, if that unselfishness is the ideal to which Swami Vivekananda inspires us, the question of why be unselfish still remains. It’s an important question to ask — unselfishness, together with love, is Vivekananda’s choice ammunition in bombarding readers with moral inspiration. Be unselfish, he says, give unto others, and pray before the Lord and the strength to continue serving will fill you. Enchanting words — but are they true? What if praying before the Lord fails to give us the strength to serve others? What if being unselfish is just self-abuse by another name? What if unselfishness is God’s illusion on humanity, testing us to see if we blindly believe what we are told by self-styled prophets?

These are important questions to ask, but not to answer — the answers to these questions are irrelevant because the value of unselfishness is self-evident. My most satisfying moments were not when I have obtained something I wanted, but when I have assisted someone successfully. This is not to say that selfish action is bad — simply that I find unselfish action more rewarding. If you are the type of person who can’t think about the welfare of others, then you are not a bad person — you are simply missing out on a more rewarding course of action. On the other end of the spectrum, if you are the type of person who is always there for other people, and you feel stretched to the limit, it is not bad to take time for yourself to recuperate. Unselfishness is desirable because it is a satisfying principle by which to live one’s life, but it need not dominate our lives. To be attached to unselfishness is dangerous — it is important that you are able to detach yourself from unselfishness.

That said, ultimately the validity of Swami Vivekananda’s insight is left to your personal experience. Even if you receive no gratitude in return, be unselfish, because you feel it is the right thing to do.

I leave you with a quote from Dr. Albert Schweitzer:

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

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We decided to all sit together in the living room, eat some chocolates and relax until the electricity would come back on (at that point, we didn’t know it would take many hours to get back the electricity). Using our cell phones as lights, we were able to find candles to light up the room. Once the three candles we found had been lit, it felt like such a beautiful moment. Everything was quiet. There were no humming air conditioning units or blaring TVs or computers playing loud music. There were just three candles, four people and a box of chocolates.

I tried to take in the scene as much as I could. I looked at the small statue of Krishna in the corner of the room and couldn’t help but smile as I saw the candlelight gently caress his face as he stood in his classic pose of playing the flute.  Next to Krishna was another small statue, this one of Shiva the form of Nataraja performing the Thandav Nritya (dance of destruction). The moving flame of the candle made the shadow of Shiva seem as if it was actually dancing. I then saw the faces of my parents and of my brother, all glowing from the light that emanated from the candles. We joked around, we laughed, we reminisced. This was like a mini-vacation for me, where I could free my mind of troubles that had been bothering me, allowing me to enjoy the simplicity that was in the air.

What I learned from this experience is that all of us are so eager to find something that we can enjoy in our life, when that something we are looking for is what many of us take for granted every single day. As Albert Schweitzer had said,

In hopes of reaching the moon, men fail to see the flowers blossoming at their feet.

I also realised that sometimes, if situations are too stressful or tense, it may be best to get away from everything and just take a mini-vacation. Try it out! When you’re feeling stressed, do some meditation or japa, or creatively vent out your worries through art such as painting or singing. If all else fails, go to the electric box and switch off the electricity!

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