The mother’s heart, the hero’s will,
The softest flower’s sweetest feel;
The charm and force that ever sway
The altar fire’s flaming play;
The strength that leads, in love obeys;
Far reaching dreams, and patient ways,
Eternal faith in Self, in all
The sight Divine in great in small;
All these, and more than I could see
Today may “Mother” grant to thee.

-Swami Vivekananda

The poem seems like the perfect expression of the Hindu view of the mother — a person who only wishes for the best for her children. It certainly encapsulates everything I’d hope to feel/be/achieve in my own life as well.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Then, should self-analysis also be balanced?

At least in my own life, I have seen that constant, unrelenting self-analysis is often tiring, and sometimes self-defeating; however, I also believe that this same self-analysis, though it occasionally has negative consequences, has legitimately helped me improve more than I would have been able to otherwise. It has enabled me to look inward and improve myself instead of constantly blaming others; and while this process is sometimes exhausting, I’m inclined to believe that this is a good thing.

Is there a better strategy for self-improvement other than relentless self-analysis? Should we be balanced between “letting go” and “looking inward”? Or is this a case where the “middle path” does not apply?

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Karma yoga encourages us to immerse ourselves in selfless service; yet, Swami Vivekananda’s advice on how exactly to do that is somewhat vague. He encourages us to be selfless, asking us, “Are you unselfish? That is the question.” He mentions strength, drilling into our minds that “Strength is life, weakness is death.” But it isn’t completely clear how we can incorporate both into our lives.

At times, trying to be selfless before we are ready to do so makes us weak, tired, and fearful — this contradiction shouldn’t exist. But how can we reconcile it? If we are to assume that there is no contradiction in Swamiji’s advice — that selflessness and strength go hand-in-hand – then one of our approaches must be wrong. So, either:

1. We must make ourselves strong before trying to be selfless, and the joy of being selfless will make us even stronger

2. Continuously struggling to be selfless, though it may make us weaker/more tired/more fearful sometimes, will eventually make us strong.

My whole life, I’ve tried the second approach, assuming that even though my attempts to be unselfish sometimes hurt me a little, eventually I’d be strong enough to act completely unselfishly. Recently, I realized that this approach might not be the best one; in the process of trial and error, I’m doing a disservice both to myself (since whatever small successes I may have tend to inflate my ego) and doing a disservice to others (since the desire to constantly put myself in positions where I can try to be selfless overwhelms my rational side, and I may be trying to help in situations where I am nowhere near qualified enough to help).

This being said, it is easy to go completely the other way, and refuse to help others saying that you are not qualified enough.

Clearly, a middle ground must be found — I’ll never be strong enough to unequivocally say that I am ready to help; at the same time, I must be practical about what situations I can help in.

Swami Vivekananda says, “Seek not, avoid not.” Don’t shove yourself into situations that you can’t handle, but do not shirk your responsibilities when there is a chance for you to help others. This way, you can control your ego and still increase your sense of strength and selflessness.

Still, this is much easier said than done — especially because emotions very often cloud my judgement, making it harder to see what I can and cannot, should and should not, do.

Has anyone else encountered such situations? How have you dealt with the seeming contradiction between strength and selflessness?

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This oscillation is natural. But after you sense this pattern, you ask — is there a way out? How can we dodge life’s ups and downs?

Hinduism answers: detachment. The perfect devotee of God is even-minded in pain and pleasure, writes the Bhagavad-Gita, a constant in the oscillations of life. To attain that state of even-mindedness, one must practice yoga. This detachment is a crucial concept in modern Hinduism — Brittany and Sonali have written on it earlier.

But just because the books say it does not mean it is true — as with all scriptural principles, we must question it, burn it with the fires of our inquiry to test its strength. Is it worth sacrificing life’s joys to avoid the sorrows? Is it really better to be even-minded? If I am so detached from everything, will I become a dull, lifeless, boring being? Or will I find renewed strength with which to enjoy life?

For me, the greatest satisfaction is in productivity, in working effectively. I find that I am more productive when I am calm and devoid of emotion, than when I am excited or sullen. So for me, even-mindedness contributes to a more satisfying life. While it’s not the most thrilling dining-table conversation — “how even-minded were you today?” — I find that the excitement of adhering to a principle such as even-mindedness is unmatched.

In the rush of life, where we race to move forward, increase our station, it is easy to get caught in the cycle of ups and downs. So ask yourself — would detachment help you achieve greater satisfaction in life, or do you prefer the joys and sorrows? Even though the Bhagavad-Gita favors the detachment route, ignore the authority of scripture and answer this question for yourself — as long as you are aware of this cycle, it is fine to choose to be in it.

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I chose to ask my friends about how I had changed so that I could try to assess whether the change in my personality was for the better or for the worse. This was a rather interesting situation since I had asked my friends to essentially ‘dissect my personality’ of the past and compare it to that of the present. I was happy to learn that I had managed to overcome some of my weaknesses, and even turned some of them into strengths. While I managed to add strengths to my personality, I also developed new weaknesses that I need to work on. I found this to be true not only with myself but also with others that I know well enough to be able to ‘dissect’.

As we move along in life, we try to better ourselves so that we do not let our weaknesses overcome us. While we manage to master these weaknesses, we gain new strengths as well as new weaknesses. This cycle of self-improvement will repeat countless times in our life until we leave the world.

Today, I pose no question — these are merely my thoughts/observations that I wish to share with you.

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