Swadharma » desire

Resolving The Disconnect Between Desires

Sonali — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:12:53 +0000

One of the most intense sources of internal conflict for me comes from the disconnect between what I currently want and what I know I should want.

We grow up hearing stories, myths, biographies, slokhas, and inspiring quotes about what we should consider the ideal; and at least for me, these sources of moral guidance have heavily influenced what I consider to be the ideal state of existence. And, I suppose as a result of constantly thinking about it, I often have a pretty good idea of what will take me towards that goal and what will not.

Yet, despite knowing what my eventual goal is, I often find that my current desires conflict with my long-term goals.

For example, Hinduism extols self-control as an important virtue, yet at this age, many of us like the idea of letting go and dabbling in everything, saying that it is the only chance we’ll get to “experiment.” Hinduism advises us to be unselfish; yet without some selfishness, we’re very likely to be walked all over — and after experiencing the pain of being taken advantage of, we tend towards selfishness even though scripture tells us the opposite. Detachment is a fundamental concept in Hinduism; yet, if we hope to live as householders, attachment to those around us seems to be the most satisfying way of forming human relationships…

I believe strongly in the long-term goals — that practicing self-control, selflessness, and detachment will bring me much more internal peace and satisfaction in the long run — but for now, I sometimes find myself seeking to break away from those goals to see what it is like to not be ‘bound’ by a higher goal.

What is the right path in this case? Does the existence of lower desires indicate that I’m not ready to follow my higher goals — that I should perhaps fulfill those desires and (if the scriptures are right) upon seeing that they do not give me the fulfillment I crave, then move on to my higher goals? Or should I continue to deny those lower desires, focusing only on my long-term goals…

Have any of you dealt with this type of conflict before? Do you have any suggestions for how to resolve such conflicts?

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Indulge with Moderation

Anish — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:01:12 +0000

If you desire wealth…but do not dare to plunge into the struggle for wealth for fear of the world… your mind, nonetheless, will be running day and night after money. So plunge into the world and fulfill all your desires. Until that [time], it is impossible for you to come to the state of calmness, serenity, and self-surrender.

This quote from one of Swami Vivekananda’s lectures really got me thinking.

When we try to suppress our urges, we meet with a lot of internal resistance. Our mind becomes a veritable Kurukshetra battlefield, with one part of us wanting to indulge fully in the senses, and another part making us feel guilty about it. When we try to live a life of austerity and denial, it will only end up making us yearn all the more for the things that we have tried to suppress.

A practical path for us to follow would be to avail of and enjoy the benefits, and bear the burden of sufferings that wealth brings us. After we go through the ‘indulgent’ phase, we will ideally reach the ‘been there, done that’ phase where we will be in the proper mental framework for attaining the state of the sthithapragna – a state of tranquility, peace and calmness. We would be like the lotus in the pond – IN the world but not OF the world.

However, this does not necessarily mean that one should commit all the mistakes in order to realize that they are indeed mistakes. For instance, we all know smoking to be bad for our health. If one indulges in smoking, it will be very difficult for him or her to get out of this bad habit. It would thus be foolish to insist that one has to experience the ill effects of a bad habit to rise above it.

So when we speak of detachment as we do so often in many of our posts, keep in mind that attaining a sense of detachment and rising above such desires is a goal that can be worked on as one makes his or her journey through life. We can indulge with moderation. Over time, we will all rise above our desires and attain that ‘state of calmness, serenity and self-surrender.’

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Desire and Suffering in Balzac

Brittany — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:49:53 +0000

For one of my literature classes, we read an essay about the role of desire in narratives. This essay used Balzac’s novel La Peau de Chagrin as an example of a novel whose narrative is driven by desire; however, it is twisted such that the narrative is actually driven by the protagonist’s attempt to avoid desire. He was given a talisman that would grant him his every wish; however, it also would gradually destroy him. I found this to be an interesting exploration of the interplay of desire and pain. Often, desire is associated with emotional pain such as the loss of something or someone one loves, but in Balzac’s story, desire has been associated with physical pain, and ultimately, death.

I am not sure how the association with physical rather than emotional pain changes the portrayal of desire. At first, I thought that the association with physical pain seemed to cast a more negative light on desire, especially since desire here was ultimately associated with death even more so than with pain. The more I though about it, the more I began to think that perhaps emotional pain was in fact the more damaging. One can attempt to ignore or at least lessen physical pain by focusing on something else, but no matter how hard one tries, one cannot escape from the pain inside one’s head. The physical aspect of pain is more visible to others, but mental pain is hidden.

Regardless of the form that pain takes, I found it interesting that Balzac’s portrayal of desire in his novel is so similar to the Hindu belief that desire and attachment lead to suffering. We tend to believe that we will be happier if we have something; however, often once we have whatever we desired, we realize that it was not worth the cost. Alternatively, we experience desire and attachment towards something we have, and we suffer when it is lost. Balzac deals with both of these points in his novel. The main character experiences physical pain as the cost of obtaining what he desires, and when he finally receives his ultimate desire, he experiences the pain of losing it through his death.

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