Last week, Ameya’s post mentioned Karma Yoga as a stepping stone towards true detachment and freedom. Since Valentine’s Day was last weekend, I thought it apt to discuss love’s role in the path to freedom. Specifically:
Can selfless love really exist?
Love is a huge topic of discussion in our lives — whether describing the beauty of a mother’s love, discussing romantic love, enjoying the love between friends, love for humanity, or love for God. In his lectures, Swami Vivekananda mentions:
“When you have succeeded in loving your husband, your wife, your children, the whole world, the universe, in such a manner that there is no reaction of pain or jealousy, no selfish feeling, then you are in a fit state to be unattached.”
But, in the context of the aforementioned types of love, is it really possible to achieve love without pain or jealous, love without selfish feeling?
In our daily lives, this conflict can be seen most clearly in forms of romantic love — jealousy (or even just pretending to be jealous!) seems normal between lovers, even a sign of how much they care for each other! Swamiji is suggesting that perhaps this is not true love…But what would distinguish love for a specific person from general love of humanity, other than a feeling of attachment to that specific person? If it is not correct to love with a selfish feeling, is falling in love with one person (as many of us hope to do eventually…) wrong? It seems to me that all types of love are inherently selfish, because they single out specific individuals whom we choose to shower our love upon — whether those individuals are our children, lovers, friends, or even God. Is it possible to love unselfishly?
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