Many of us have written on this subject before, but I think it is a topic worth touching upon repeatedly.
Karma yoga encourages us to immerse ourselves in selfless service; yet, Swami Vivekananda’s advice on how exactly to do that is somewhat vague. He encourages us to be selfless, asking us, “Are you unselfish? That is the question.” He mentions strength, drilling into our minds that “Strength is life, weakness is death.” But it isn’t completely clear how we can incorporate both into our lives.
At times, trying to be selfless before we are ready to do so makes us weak, tired, and fearful — this contradiction shouldn’t exist. But how can we reconcile it? If we are to assume that there is no contradiction in Swamiji’s advice — that selflessness and strength go hand-in-hand – then one of our approaches must be wrong. So, either:
1. We must make ourselves strong before trying to be selfless, and the joy of being selfless will make us even stronger
2. Continuously struggling to be selfless, though it may make us weaker/more tired/more fearful sometimes, will eventually make us strong.
My whole life, I’ve tried the second approach, assuming that even though my attempts to be unselfish sometimes hurt me a little, eventually I’d be strong enough to act completely unselfishly. Recently, I realized that this approach might not be the best one; in the process of trial and error, I’m doing a disservice both to myself (since whatever small successes I may have tend to inflate my ego) and doing a disservice to others (since the desire to constantly put myself in positions where I can try to be selfless overwhelms my rational side, and I may be trying to help in situations where I am nowhere near qualified enough to help).
This being said, it is easy to go completely the other way, and refuse to help others saying that you are not qualified enough.
Clearly, a middle ground must be found — I’ll never be strong enough to unequivocally say that I am ready to help; at the same time, I must be practical about what situations I can help in.
Swami Vivekananda says, “Seek not, avoid not.” Don’t shove yourself into situations that you can’t handle, but do not shirk your responsibilities when there is a chance for you to help others. This way, you can control your ego and still increase your sense of strength and selflessness.
Still, this is much easier said than done — especially because emotions very often cloud my judgement, making it harder to see what I can and cannot, should and should not, do.
Has anyone else encountered such situations? How have you dealt with the seeming contradiction between strength and selflessness?
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