http://www.swadharma.org/2009/12/07/forgiving-yourself/ The voice of Dharma Thu, 16 Dec 2010 23:48:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 http://www.swadharma.org/2009/12/07/forgiving-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-816 Sonali Sat, 12 Dec 2009 03:01:40 +0000 http://www.swadharma.org/?p=2173#comment-816 <p>Tom, I really like the point you brought out in your comment -- as I was reading this post, I hadn't really considered that point...I guess there are extremes of people -- some that are far too hard on themselves (and thus exaggerate the small negative effects their errors might have had), and some that are far too easy on themselves (and don't consider the effects their actions have on others) -- this post seemed to be directed toward the first type of person, so I'm glad you pointed out that the second type of person exists as well!</p> Tom, I really like the point you brought out in your comment — as I was reading this post, I hadn’t really considered that point…I guess there are extremes of people — some that are far too hard on themselves (and thus exaggerate the small negative effects their errors might have had), and some that are far too easy on themselves (and don’t consider the effects their actions have on others) — this post seemed to be directed toward the first type of person, so I’m glad you pointed out that the second type of person exists as well!

]]> http://www.swadharma.org/2009/12/07/forgiving-yourself/comment-page-1/#comment-803 Tom Wed, 09 Dec 2009 04:06:57 +0000 http://www.swadharma.org/?p=2173#comment-803 The paradox of self-forgiveness: Your idea is true and correct in its own premise. It is impossible to move on from one failure unless the individual forgives oneself of wronging,  and learns a truth from it and applies it in future endeavors. But consider an alternate premise, where the error committed by the person directly influences other individuals in a negative way. In such a scenario, the 'erroneous' individual's self forgiveness has no value unless they are forgiven by every individual they directly affected with the error. To forgive yourself is to attain peace with yourself, which leads to being at peace with your society and converge to cause happiness in your environment. Without being forgiven, the offender is not at peace with the offended. This points to lack of happiness and in turn, would reverse any self-pacifying and the idea of forgiving the self crumbles. The paradox of self-forgiveness:
Your idea is true and correct in its own premise. It is impossible to move on from one failure unless the individual forgives oneself of wronging,  and learns a truth from it and applies it in future endeavors.
But consider an alternate premise, where the error committed by the person directly influences other individuals in a negative way. In such a scenario, the ‘erroneous’ individual’s self forgiveness has no value unless they are forgiven by every individual they directly affected with the error.
To forgive yourself is to attain peace with yourself, which leads to being at peace with your society and converge to cause happiness in your environment. Without being forgiven, the offender is not at peace with the offended. This points to lack of happiness and in turn, would reverse any self-pacifying and the idea of forgiving the self crumbles.

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