“When there is no enemy within, there can be no enemy without”
~African Proverb~
How do we change our reaction to the way things transpire in our lives? How do we change habitual, unconscious responses to the things that irk us in our experiences? How can we learn to remain in a place and space that does not change, despite the events that are rolling around about us, and despite the criticism or the praise that’s coming our way?
The key to changing these reactions lies in the quote above — our habitual, static and nonconstructive reactions to external things will change as soon as we relieve ourselves of the battles we face within. We can change our reactions to the world, and interact in beautiful, effective ways simply by working through the obstacles within ourselves that stand in our way. When there is no enemy within, there can be no enemy without, the quote says. But what does this mean? Who and what is the enemy? And how do we change the way we respond to it?
The enemy can be anything that is causing you turmoil and unrest within, whether that’s a person, a circumstance, or an event. Getting rid of the enemies that lie within means facing what’s inside, and using what we learn in bettering ourselves to react to the world in more meaningful, wonderful ways. There are many forms the external “enemy” can take on. Here’s my idea of a few of them.
The enemy could be a goal that you feel can’t be reached, or a dream that seems to be slighted at every turn. This dream and the events that surround it — the work it takes to get where you want to go, the voices and opinions of other people, etc. — all become something you resist and fight your way through. These are the ways in which you choose to react to these things, and they essentially become “enemies”. Recognize what’s going on inside to attract such resistance. Are the opinions of other people echoes of what’s going on inside? Does your resistance arise out of a deep-rooted fear that you are not capable of achieving what you set out to accomplish? Face what’s inside, resolve what’s inside, cease condemning yourself for feeling such things, and forgive those internal enemies. Naturally, you’ll change the way you approach the situation externally. You move from a state of fear to a state of peace and trust, and your reactions will illustrate this. The enemy disappears.
We also establish many external enemies when we continue to take things that happen in our lives personally. Why take things personally? Why live in fear of other people’s judgments? Is it because, perhaps, we’re judging ourselves just as harshly? We’re causing whatever we choose to take personally- the “enemy”- to determine our emotional state of being. Why? Because it challenges and threatens the ground upon which we define ourselves — it threatens our sense of security about ourselves. But if we can turn inside and resolve that within, maybe figure out and resolve the reasons you feel you have to take what goes on around you personally, you can change this, and become capable of living a judgment-free, anxiety-free life. Thus again, the enemy disappears.
What’s more, if something offends you, use this mirror process and figure out why you’re having that strong reaction. When you get to the point where you don’t have to convince anybody outside of yourself of anything, simply because you no longer have to convince yourself of anything (that you’re smart, or that you can achieve what you set out to achieve, that you will find the right answer on your spiritual quest), then there’s nothing left, externally, to get offended about. Once again, the enemy disappears.
One may see a particular person as the “enemy”. In this case, know that everything that appears in our lives appear for a reason; they’re here to teach us lessons and to help us go. So it is with other individuals. If you find yourself reacting with harsh judgment to everything another person does or says, then perhaps deep inside you are judging yourself just as harshly. Or maybe you’re attempting to bury the “imperfections” you see inside of you that are being reflected in this “enemy”. When you can love that other individual regardless of what they do, say, or think, and when your judgments of them and the negative reactions to them disappear completely, then you’ve reached a point internally where you no longer have to react in the same, habitual ways. The enemy is gone.
The list of enemies can go on and on, and of course vary and change depending on your particular experiences and point of views in life. I encourage you, in your spiritual growth throughout the day, to recognize what you deem as an “enemy” externally and to find, within yourself, the origins of that. When we have no enemies to battle within, when there is no resistance to what is without because we’ve healed what’s on the inside. When we accept that we are God-like, and that we have all the love we need inside, when we have no need to find externally what we feel is missing on the inside; then only will our reactions change. Therefore, quite literally, “we must become the change we want to see in the world” (Mahatma Gandhi).
And lastly, a haiku to think about in relation to turning within and ridding self of internal enemies:
How can I love you
If I cannot love myself
Learn to turn within
Peace and Blessings
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