We may all need food, water, and shelter to survive, but these would be worthless if we didn’t have relationships — familial, friendly, and romantic — with other people.
Hinduism has many proscriptions for familial relations — the rakhi festival is one example, and filial piety in general is another. It is said in Hindu mythology that when Lord Ganesha was asked to race against his swifter brother thrice around the universe, that he instead walked around his parents three times, hands clasped in reverence.
There are also many examples in mythology of friendship — for instance, in the Mahabharata, there is the bond between the warrior Arjuna and Lord Krishna. In the other great Hindu epic, the Ramayana, the brotherly love and friendship between Rama and Lakshmana is deep and profound.
But most important to our lives as college students in a co-ed school is the subject of romantic relationships. It’s a touchy subject, especially since the vast history of Hinduism seems to consider marriage as the only legitimate romantic interaction. Lord Vishnu may be married to Lakshmi, but I doubt that prior to marriage they went on a first date, followed by a candlelit dinner. And even the most romantic courtship in the epics, that between Sita and Rama, was just a matter of stringing a bow.
It’s not clear how this old attitude about romantic relationships as solely marriage translates into the present — the more important question is, should they? Or should we disregard them and pursue what we want? I’m inclined to disregard them, since today’s society is different from that of the epics. But at the same time, there’s a feeling of obligation to considering what our ancestors thought and felt. Considering how much time college students spend thinking about romantic interactions, this is clearly an issue that Hinduism has left unaddressed.
Family, friendship, and romance — how do you feel about the relationships in your life, and how do your personal beliefs affect that?
P.S. I’m not familiar with any scriptural advice on any of these matters, so do comment if you feel you’ve read something relevant.
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It can be said that to an extent, the relationships we have with others, be it familial, friendly or romantic, help to shape us and make us the people we are.
Ideally the relationships we have with others all work together to uplift us spiritually and/or guide us through situations in our lives.
For example, family will always be there for us and will want nothing more than our happiness and success (again, spiritually and/or through life). When Ram was banished from his kingdom, Ayodhya, Lashkman joins his brother for the 14 years of exile.
Friends are always there for us and (in college, at least) are often the reason we are able to survive the day without going insane. However, friends can also be there to uplift us spiritually. This can be seen in the friendship between Krishna and Arjuna in the Mahabharat.
Romantic relationships can also play a huge role in uplifting us. Granted that in a romantic relationship, physical attraction will always be present, ideally speaking, it won’t be the basis for the relationship. For instance, Krishna and Radha shared a very romantic relationship where Krishna would seronade Radha with the beautiful music he played on his flute. However, the relationship was based more so on a spiritual level as Radha and Krishna were able to love each other because of the divinity they saw in each other. It was a romantic relationship, yes, but it was more of spiritual love between two souls than just between two people.
What we can try to do is to emulate such relationships (familial, friendly, or romantic) so that we may all be uplifted spiritually.
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