Over winter break, a friend and I attended what can basically be called a meditation camp, and it really made me think about my life and Hinduism differently. The camp is a ten day course in Vipassana meditation, and it’s pretty intense. During the ten days, participants follow a strict schedule from 4:00pm till 9:30pm, and everyone is supposed to maintain “noble silence,” or silence of mind and body. This meant that for the entire time, we couldn’t talk to anyone other than the teacher in case of a problem. The point was to get rid of all external stimuli — I wasn’t allowed to bring my cell phone, computer, music, or anything to write with. I had decided to attend on a whim a few months earlier, and I wasn’t sure what to expect of my experience. Thinking about it now, I can honestly say that it has changed my perspective on life.
Although the meditation technique is non-religious, Vipassana is a historically Buddhist technique, so much of the philosophy that’s espoused shares common ideas with Hinduism. One of the main things we were taught from the first day was that we spend our lives being controlled by our cravings and aversions. The technique of meditation is supposed to provide a way to come out of the cycle of attachment and accept things as they occur. As abstract ideas, these were not new to me, but what the technique of meditation provided me with that religious teachings had not was a straightforward explanation of how to change my thinking.
This was interesting to me, as the secular method of meditation actually gave me a better understanding of what it is that Hinduism values so highly. Before, it was difficult for me to realistically understand what it meant to minimize attachments, because it seems like such an unattainable goal. However, after over a hundred hours of meditation, I had spent so much time thinking that it was easier for me to look at my life objectively.
I’ve found that it’s hard to explain what my experience was like because so much of it was mental and I had more time than I ever have to contemplate everything — including things I didn’t necessarily want to think about. This gave me the chance to really evaluate my thoughts and actions, and then I was able to better understand what it meant to avoid attachments. It doesn’t mean that I can’t have friends or that I can’t enjoy experiences, but rather that I need to avoid becoming dependent on these things. Obviously, this is a lot harder to do than it is to comprehend, and I’m still only at the stage of understanding. Still, the increased sense of peace that I have has made me understand why gurus encourage their students to minimize their attachments within the world.
Given that not everyone can (or wants to) spend ten days silently meditating, there have to be other ways to make small changes that can help us get out of this cycle of craving and aversion. I thought that the introspection that was prompted by isolation was very, very interesting. I realized how much we use other people as a gauge, and we depend on others for constant advice and support. While this isn’t a bad thing, sometimes it’s not necessary to share things with others — I don’t need to be texting my friend saying “I’m bored” when I don’t want to study. It’s important to learn how to rely on ourselves as a resource; of course, other people are always there as well. I found that I actually know more about myself than I credit myself with knowing, and usually I can figure out what the right thing to do is when I’m making a personal decision. Although I’m still attached to my friends and loved ones, I’ve learned to appreciate the value of giving myself primary responsibility for my actions. What it comes down to is that I need to be comfortable with my thoughts and my behavior, because in the end I am accountable for what I do.
Do you think this is a valid way of minimizing attachments? Or is it just a personal development that doesn’t really have any bearing on my attachment to the world and other people?
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2 Comments
That’s an interesting perspective on learning to detach yourself from others in little steps! I never thought of things like texting in that way, but you are definitely right that it is a sign of dependence. I wonder though – does detaching yourself mean that you should also avoid people depending on you?
Interesting insights, Gauri. Especially in college, we are surrounded by friends, classmates, and roommates so often, that it really is rare to have some quiet time to think & reflect. I do think the examples you mentioned are a good way of detaching yourself. Things like IM/chatting, and texting have become almost second nature to us, and I feel that reducing my dependence on those things is one way of becoming more detached. What other “little steps” do you take to detach yourself?
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