From the time I was a toddler, I had been taught not to lie or cheat. Throughout my years in elementary school, middle school and even high school, it had seemed reasonably easy to not break those rules. But the moment I stepped into the college world, everything changed. No longer did I live a sheltered life. I was exposed to people of so many different cultures, different lifestyles and especially people of varying levels of morality.
The difference in cultures and lifestyles did not seem to bother me in the least bit. However, the difference between my friends and me in our sense of morality greatly affected me and still affects me to this day.
Lying, drinking, smoking, cheating… I’ll leave the first three for possible future posts.
Cheating is an issue that I am faced with more often than I would have expected to. Because of my constant exposure to cheating, I feel that my sense of morality has strengthened to become a stable base for me. For when I am asked to choose between cheating and not cheating, it is not difficult to make the right choice. The problem, however, arises if someone were to ask me if he or she could cheat off me.
I was discussing this with my best friend over the phone a few days ago. We both had an understanding that it would clearly be wrong to cheat on an exam. But we were confused as to whether it would be any different if our friends asked to cheat off us, which would not entail us having to look at their answers, but they would be cheating off our test. Would that still be cheating? Objectively speaking, it is obviously wrong to cheat in any way, which includes letting someone cheat off you. But what if it’s a friend of yours? What if they’re on the brink of failure and cheating off you is their last hope in staying in this class and receiving a passing grade? If you don’t let your friend cheat off you, he’ll fail, withdraw from the class and will be disappointed with you.
My friend and I came to the conclusion that although it would be very difficult, the ideal path would be to not allow our friend to cheat off our exam. And although our friend will be very angry with us, the long term help we give to our friend by not allowing him to cheat (which, ideally, would keep him from cheating in the future) would be more helpful than the short-term help we give via our answers (assuming they are right).
What would you do if you were faced with this situation? Would you risk losing a friend?
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3 Comments
I think it’s really a question of how much you value your own moral righteousness. If you take that to its logical conclusion, well, it depends on the friend.
However, in the “real world” the lines are much more blurry, and there’s often no explicit penalty for many of the things considered “cheating” in school. So that puts further pressure on you to maintain your moral boundaries, so to speak.
Sorry could you clarify a bit more?
Isn’t it wrong for a friend to make change your sense of morality for his immediate and even temporary benefit?
I feel that cheating in school (if uncontrolled) could eventually lead to cheating others in the ‘real world’. Think of it this way: a child is not punished when he lies to his parents about doing his chores. The child would then slowly begin to lie about more important things. And if the pattern continues, the child will be lying in even more important situations (ie. tax fraud), which would cause problems at home, at work and with friends.
Similarly if someone feels it’s okay to cheat in college exams and continues to cheat through his college career, he would continue to cheat in the ‘real world’. Examples of such situations in the real world could vary from embezzling money from companies to the Satyam scandal. I’m not saying that all people that cheat or have cheated will be the scandalous CEOs of the future, but I feel that it is our duty to be able to create a stable sense of morality from the start so that it is easier for us to maintain those moral boundaries.
“My friend and I came to the conclusion that although it would be very difficult, the ideal path would be to not allow our friend to cheat off our exam. And although our friend will be very angry with us, the long term help we give to our friend by not allowing him to cheat (which, ideally, would keep him from cheating in the future) would be more helpful than the short-term help we give via our answers (assuming they are right).”
I noticed that this posting is relevant to what I have experienced, so I decided to weigh in, for what it’s worth.
I have a friend (let us call him “X”). During finals each semester, X will reliably accost his friends and classmates looking for class notes and outlines that he himself was too lazy to put together, because he spent his semester partying and getting hammered rather than doing his work.
At first, I feel bad for X, because he had some bad things happen to him during the year. So I share my outlines with him. However, after two semesters, I stop feeling bad for him, because the honest truth finally dawns on me: X is nothing but a lazy moocher.
I lived with X the first year of school, and each time finals came around he came to me looking for outlines and class notes. I now learn that X is doing the same thing with his roommate this year. This further confirms my suspicion about X’s lazy and mooching disposition. However, it does not stop at the outlines.
During the first year of school, while living with X, he began a new practice: while taking take- home exams, he began visiting my room and asking questions about the exam. I have also learned that X has done the same thing with his current roommate.
I would agree with Anish that cheating is wrong, and I myself have never felt the desire to cheat on an exam. I would also agree that letting someone cheat off of you is also wrong, for several reasons:
First, as stated above, if the person is allowed to cheat in school, odds are they will always be looking for ways to cut corners which will come back to bite them in horrible ways later in life.
Second, you are hurting your friend because by allowing him to cheat, you are not helping him reach HIS full potential, which I think a true friend should be concerned about. BY letting him get by without doing any work, you are not requiring him to dig down inside himself and see what is capable of accomplishing on his own, and he will consequently be grossly unprepared for the demands of the working world after he gets out of school.
Finally, I would like to say that allowing your friend to cheat off of you says a lot about your friend. On a personal level, I would NEVER try to cheat off a friend. I think that it is toxic for the friendship, and would never even EXPECT a friend to allow me to cheat off him. I think it falls well outside the boundaries of a friendship. I think that by attempting to cheat off you, your “friend” harms the friendship, because eventually you begin to think that your friend is not interested in your friendship, but rather is interested in associating with you solely for your work ethic.
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