Comments on: What is a good friend? http://www.swadharma.org/2009/01/29/what-is-a-good-friend/ The voice of Dharma Thu, 16 Dec 2010 23:48:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Anish http://www.swadharma.org/2009/01/29/what-is-a-good-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-72 Anish Sun, 01 Feb 2009 06:01:53 +0000 http://www.swadharma.org/?p=812#comment-72 'My best friend is the one that brings out the best in me.' This reminds me of one of the stories of Sharada Maa, 'I am your daughter'. When Sharada Maa encountered a theif, without having to be the thief's best friend, she managed to bring out the better person in the the thief. When she said 'I am your daughter' to the thief, she brought out the better characteristic of a father. As was written in the paper about Sharada Maa's incident, we all have every type of seed for every kind of characteristic possible. It is our peers and our mentors and everyone we interact with that water certain seeds, which grow into the forest that is our character. Though it may seem obvious that in order to prevent the seeds of bad character from growing, one should avoid people with those sets of beliefs, it may not be the best choice. Like Ameya had said, interacting with people of different and even opposing ideologies may prove to be helpful in more ways than one. One possible result could be that you help the other person to take a better path - you water the 'good' seeds in the other person. Another possible result is that such interaction will reinforce and fortify your beliefs. But also, another plan of action would be to not allow such bad seeds in us to become watered by others through the realization that 'they have this effect on us'. Once this is mastered (much easier said than done), anyone can be your friend! ‘My best friend is the one that brings out the best in me.’ This reminds me of one of the stories of Sharada Maa, ‘I am your daughter’. When Sharada Maa encountered a theif, without having to be the thief’s best friend, she managed to bring out the better person in the the thief. When she said ‘I am your daughter’ to the thief, she brought out the better characteristic of a father.
As was written in the paper about Sharada Maa’s incident, we all have every type of seed for every kind of characteristic possible. It is our peers and our mentors and everyone we interact with that water certain seeds, which grow into the forest that is our character. Though it may seem obvious that in order to prevent the seeds of bad character from growing, one should avoid people with those sets of beliefs, it may not be the best choice. Like Ameya had said, interacting with people of different and even opposing ideologies may prove to be helpful in more ways than one. One possible result could be that you help the other person to take a better path – you water the ‘good’ seeds in the other person. Another possible result is that such interaction will reinforce and fortify your beliefs. But also, another plan of action would be to not allow such bad seeds in us to become watered by others through the realization that ‘they have this effect on us’. Once this is mastered (much easier said than done), anyone can be your friend!

]]> By: Ameya http://www.swadharma.org/2009/01/29/what-is-a-good-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-71 Ameya Sun, 01 Feb 2009 04:45:36 +0000 http://www.swadharma.org/?p=812#comment-71 It is a very interesting question that you raise, Sonali.  I tend to agree with you that my best friends are probably those who bring out the best in me, based on who I tend to hang out with. However, I also see some merit in learning from those friends who bring out other not-so-desirable qualities. Perhaps it encourages one to question one's own values and delve deeper? In a sense, I liken it to debating a topic with someone who disagrees with you. You tend to question your own reasons for believing something and dig deeper for answers in order to present a coherent argument. However, that is not to say that you necessarily change your views; rather, you learn more by having to present yourself amidst an opposing viewpoint. It is a very interesting question that you raise, Sonali.  I tend to agree with you that my best friends are probably those who bring out the best in me, based on who I tend to hang out with. However, I also see some merit in learning from those friends who bring out other not-so-desirable qualities. Perhaps it encourages one to question one’s own values and delve deeper?

In a sense, I liken it to debating a topic with someone who disagrees with you. You tend to question your own reasons for believing something and dig deeper for answers in order to present a coherent argument. However, that is not to say that you necessarily change your views; rather, you learn more by having to present yourself amidst an opposing viewpoint.

]]>