What does the Mahabharata say about friendship?
In Bhishma’s encyclopedic discourse to Yudishthira after the Kurukshetra battle (source), describes qualities of a good friend.
“Listen now to me as I indicate the persons with whom alliances (of friendship) may be formed. They that are well-born, they that are possessed of eloquence and politeness of speech, they that are endued with knowledge and science, they that are possessed of merit and other accomplishments, they that are free from covetousness, they that are never exhausted by labour, they that are good to their friends, they that are grateful, they that are possessed of varied information and knowledge, they that are destitute of avarice, they that are possessed of agreeable qualities, they that are firm in truth, they that have subdued their senses, they that are devoted to athletic and other exercises, they that are of good families, they that are perpetuators of their races, they that are destitute of faults, they that are possessed of fame, should be accepted by kings for forming alliances (of friendship) with them, They, again, O monarch, who become pleased and contented if one behaves with them according to the best of one’s powers, they who never get angry on occasions that do not justify anger, they who never become displeased without sufficient cause, those persons who are well conversant with the science of Profit and who, even when annoyed, succeed in keeping their minds tranquil, they who devote themselves to the service of friends at personal sacrifice, they who are never estranged from friends but who continue unchanged (in their attachment) like a red blanket made of wool (which does not easily change its colour), they who never disregard, from anger, those that are poor, they who never dishonour youthful women by yielding to lust and loss of judgment, they who never point out wrong paths to friends, they who are trustworthy, they who are devoted to the practice of righteousness, they who regard gold and brick-bats with an equal eye, they that adhere with firmness to friends and well-wishers, they who muster their own people and seek the accomplishment of the business of friends regardless of their own dignity and casting off all the marks of their own respectability, should be regarded as persons with whom alliances (of friendship) should be made. Indeed, the dominions of that king spread on every direction, like the light of the lord of the stars, who makes alliances of friendship with such superior men. Alliances should be formed with men that are well-practised in weapons, that have completely subdued their anger, that are always strong in battle and possessed of high birth, good behaviour, and varied accomplishments.”
In short, they who are virtuous ought to be befriended. Granted, some of the qualities described are a bit strange by our standards (well-practiced in weapons?), but most of the description is reasonable.
These are high standards — if we measured all our friends this way, we wouldn’t have many friends left. That is why I disagree with this passage — I feel like the most valuable friendships are between those who are alike in virtue.
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